So it's been awhile..

I have awakened from a dream while traveling by plane, I had an epiphany, for some odd reason I want to share. I started a blog in the wake of divorce about 5 years ago. I expressed thoughts, searched for support and created a sort of healing reality. After feeling healed I squirreled off in search of other adventures. I am considering a writing relapse but for fun this time! My reasoning? I have determined that when we write our mental "stories" they become that; stories, then reality can be obtained. If left to play in the mind, I find they are given a great deal more meaning than necessary and can take us to a path of spiraling stories that distress us or create unattainable expectations.

Recently, I read a great post on a Facebook page, The Mind Unleashed that suggested we are not our minds. To me, this means we don't have to live into those stories of the mind. It is a chemical reaction like cooking, moving, or breathing. Those stories are your pattern seeking device, the brain, making connections to your past experience to provide reference. We humans like context, connections to an "understanding." However, these connected stories are like a blown-up digital picture, the computer predicts and fills in gaps. The mind takes in new information and creates a story based on your past experience filling in the gaps to provide reference. Imagine stepping out of this non-stop noisy story maker, the mind and creating a state of being you choose. I am reading a great book called; The Dude and The Zen Master (yes, The Dude). Currently the two authors are suggesting that holding on or abiding with something makes you stuck, unable to abide with all.  Letting go of the mind's stories allows you to be present or abide! So that is the epiphany, it is enough to hold my attention for a bit and my new adventure is the practice of being present. AdventureAmes Abides!

The Winding of a Year...

As this year comes to it's close, I have created a need to record some of the events and the outlooks created in 2012. It is always of interest to me what people select to be in the yearly "Christmas or Holiday" letters they write. It is the recount of 366 days all summed up in bullets, big events, or generalized themes of the year. So I am going to attempt all three; yes, I have skills.

This year's slogan? CHANGE: Love it or Embrace it!

Change 1:
Ryan Campbell moved into my life with nuptials January 16th and remains the brightest spot of every day! :-)

Change 2:
A mighty force grows and replicates in the desert of Arizona by consideration of changes at Mt. Tipton.   School closure? Town hall meetings? Administrative realignment? All in early spring.

Change 3:
Consideration of Utah and kids. Resumes, applications, letters of recommendation... New job in Utah, let the games begin.

Change 4: The packing, the moving and the very difficult goodbyes to family, friends and a comfortable community of 16 years.

Change 5: Loss of a Hero! Ry's pop passed away with a great deal of LOVE and Character. I hope to go in the same way. Love ya Glen, miss you everyday!!

Change 6: Not all kids want to go to Utah! Jackson stays in Arizona, Tristan to Utah with Mom. Let the really hard, tearful and guilty games begin.

Change 7: New School, New Jobs, New Kids, New Extended Families, New Friends, New Home!

Change 8: Amie coaches volleyball! Ryan gets a new job, excitement and joy about being back in his first love; cabinets. Tristan is playing Basketball, so fun!

Change 9: It is our first winter in Salt Lake City. There is snow and it is COLD! :-) I keep Kingman's weather on my phone just to remind me of how lucky we were! I have acquired the skill of knitting, on YouTube and am now creating scarfs, hats and gloves in mass. It is a crack up. Ryan calls me his "old woman," What is that?

Change 10: We are looking to the next year with a great deal of Love, Excitement and Contentment. What else can you ask for?

CONNECTION

Please connect or reconnect. In a short time I have identified my lack of connection to people around me and a disconnect from those I knew. That time is gone and the time is NOW! I will reconnect my life to YOU and the people around me.

We avoid connection for a multitude of reasons; fear, embarrassment, and not wanting to get hurt are some examples. We disconnect for the same reasons of being hurt and getting revenge. I want to acknowledge and own my "reasons." It occurs to me that I have a Facebook page that was designed to connect and I have turned it into a competition to see how many friends I can get or tell the world all about me. How does that create a connection that fulfills my life and yours. It does not fulfill either!

I love the first week of each school year because I connect to new students and teachers to educate them. The year passes and we build a family, then they move on and I disconnect. Why? That is what I am addressing... I want to reconnect with all of them and YOU! I want to be a part of a life we all love.
I have a life I love and that is due to my connections to all of you!

Contact me as soon as you can and I will contact you. 928.897.9540 or ames1057@gmail.com

Highs and Lows... A Roller Coaster!!

Soooo let's talk (blog) freely.... Since the separation of my marriage I have gone through several states of emotion. I often refer to these oscillations as the "Amie Roller Coaster." However, I am starting to wonder if I have always experienced highs, lows, joys, disappointments and was so overwhelmed with "my life" that I didn't recognize the ride. I used to avoid discussing these fluctuations in disposition with people to avoid judgement or advice. "You are bipolar," "You should take Prozac," "Do Yoga," and my favorite "Maybe it is a tumor!" Well, I chose to do nothing about the fluctuations but to embrace them and create my own personal themed roller coaster of highs and lows with the predetermined outcome of learned wisdom. At the end of a roller coaster you are always dizzy, disoriented but better experienced in your response to the ride and always smiling ready to take on the next, more challenging ride. By approaching this behavioral mechanism, that is often counseled or medicated, with a humorous and honest outlook I have kind of made a game out of it!

Now when people ask me how things are going or say things like; "you look beat up." I am going to thank them and say... "I think I have a tumor!" I am excited in the anticipation of the responses. I will keep you posted and all I can say is RIDE THE RIDE KNOWING YOU ARE GROWING! Welcome to the roller coaster of the life we all live. ENJOY!!!